Reward vs. Bribes the Battle for Better Behavior

    When trying to deal with behaviors, the term reward is often used. It is very important to know the difference between a reward and a bribe.  As parents we often make jokes about bribing our children to do things they do not want to do.  When you have a child with special needs it important not to cross that line and confuse them. 

    What is the difference between a bribe and a reward?  It really is very simple.  A reward is a token which is received after a task is done which is established before the task begins.  A bribe is a reward that is received after a task is completed, but it is offered after the task has been requested and negative behavior has started.  While a bribe may have the short term benefit of getting what you need done at the moment, the long term pattern it establishes is to reinforce negative behavior.

    What do rewards for behavior look like?  I personally do not like food rewards.  I avoid them except for really big exciting events.  Stickers are my preferred reward. Kids love stickers.  You can find stickers for your child’s particular interest.  There are different sized stickers for emphasis on larger tasks, and if you want you can add stickers up to use to purchase larger items if that is how you want your reward system to work.  You can use pennies, Popsicle sticks, ribbons, or anything.  Be creative. For some children who are very tactile a high five is all that it takes.  I am always giving out high fives in my class.  These can be given for smaller parts of a larger task as well. For other children time is what they value most.  A promise of a couple of private minutes of your time listening to them read, watching them color or some other special talent is a great reward. The important thing is that you and the child know what is expected before the activity and that it is not presented once the negative behavior has begun.

  One problem I have seen in my classroom is when a student wants to get in on another student’s rewards.  I may give one student a high five, or give verbal praise to one student and another asks for the same praise when none was earned or appropriate at that time.  Teaching children that rewards are earned and only the person that earned it receives the reward is important and needs to be directly taught and reinforced.  You may be tempted to give a high five to that child as well, but that diminishes the value of that and future rewards.  Gently explain that the other child earned the reward and it is his, and an opportunity for a reward will be given to them when it is appropriate.  Then redirect the focus on the student who earned the reward and have both of you congratulate him on a job well done.  By doing this you teach group dynamics and support of a class or family.

  Everyone works for rewards. You go to work for pay: your reward.  You get dressed nice and your significant other tells you that you look good: your reward.  You work hard on a home improvement project and your neighbor asks for your help on theirs: your reward.  There are all kinds of rewards we work for every day. It is no different with our kids. Find the reward that works for your kids and use it to find success.

 For more information you might want to start here:

http://thetlc.org/2012/04/23/reinforcement-vs-bribery/

http://www.aspireearlyintervention.com/news/the-difference-between-bribery-and-reinforcement/