Thursday, July 18, 2013

How to Stay Calm During Meld Downs with a Special Needs Child.

   No matter if you are parent or teacher of the year, melt downs are going to happen from time to time.  I will talk about what to with the kids in another blog.  Today, I want to talk about us, the adults in charge of  the chaos that is going on?  I have two things I want you to keep in mind at all times: 1. it is not aimed at you, not really 2.  two always try to find the humor in the situation.  Keeping things as light as possible will keep the stress level down and everyone as calm as possible.
   Whatever is happening always remember it is not you that is the problem, it is the situation,  Do not get caught up in a power struggle or be offended and hurt by what is going on.  The child in a meltdown has lost control and you are the one who is there to help guide them back into control.  An “I hate you” or other such nonsense said in the heat of a meltdown is just verbal vomit.  Think of it as that.  The child is on over load and is literally vomiting up emotions that are coming out all mixed up and jumbled.  They make no sense.  The I hate you could be the hate from the “I hate the way I feel” and the you from “ I wish you would help me.”  Do not take it personally or confuse the issue more by getting your own feelings involved.  Take a deep breath and remind yourself, the child is upset and does not mean what is being said.  It is verbal vomit.
  Always try to see the humor in things.  I do not mean to laugh at the child.  These children are in pain. It is possible, though, to try to find humor in most situationsSome of the things that are occurring are humorous.  I sit with my gown children and we laugh at the silly antics that they pulled as children.  My oldest ran around a planter and had me chase her until a neighbor cut her off when she was 3.  We laugh about that.  I wish I had laughed then. When your child tries the same routine for the 50th time and you sit there calmly and they make that face like “not this again,” go ahead and giggle inside.  It will relieve your stress and help you handle the rest better. 
 When the meltdown is done, take some time to walk away and re-energize.  If you are in a classroom, get someone to cover while you take a lap around the halls.  At home, if no one else is there, find a quiet room for a couple minutes.  You can read a book, walk on a treadmill, or call a friend.  The important thing is to take care of you.  A meltdown takes it out of everyone concerned.  Do not feel bad if your plans for the day get tossed out the window.  Everything will be there tomorrow.  It always is.
  Dealing day in and day out with the challenges of special needs kids is stressful. There are so many things you have to be in tune to at any given time.  No one could possibly be expected to be perfect and do it 100% all the time.  So cut yourself a little slack.  As long as you are doing your personal best and your heart is in the right place your kids will thrive.  Do not forget to take care of yourself or there will not be anything left to give to the kids.

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