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The clothing debate
is something that goes on in every house, special needs or not. With a special needs child, especially one on
the autism spectrum, this can be a very difficult thing to handle. One thing you have to remember is that you
are in charge and there are ways to keep everyone happy.
Having your child
involved in deciding what to wear is always a good thing. It gives your child a sense of control over a
part of their life. However, there have to be ground rules and they have to be
clearly stated and reinforced. I would
suggest sitting down with you child and coming up with the ground rules
together, just like we make class rule.
Here are some example rules: clothes have to be clean, have to fit, and
cannot have any holes or rips. Once you have rules, there are many different ways
you can go about letting your child choose their clothes depending on your family and child’s abilities.
Choosing clothes
for the day should happen at the same time every day. Establish it as part of your routine. Some people do it before they go to bed. Some do it in the morning. Whatever works for your family is fine. Talk
about what your child will be doing the upcoming day and what the weather will
be like. Help them decide on the type of clothing: long sleeves, shorts, a
sweater, etc. It might be helpful to have a checklist of the items needed. Some
children on the AU spectrum will only wear one particular type of clothing all
year. This is a sensory issue to discuss
with your OT. From here picking out outfits can be done many ways: choices can
be given, free reign allowed, pictures shown, or your child can give you
choices. Whichever way you choose, have a backup to redirect to a better choice
if they make a poor choice. If your redirection does not work, your child will
not die if they get little hot. They will learn.
One way to help in controlling the choices
is controlling the clothing they have to choose from. Make sure the clothing
they choose from is appropriate to the season.
Teach your child to take non-seasonal clothing and pack it away. If your child will not do it, you can do it
during school and tell your child it was one of your chores. The same goes for clothing with holes, stains
or that is too small. Also make sure their clothing is appropriate for their
age. Our kids can stand out on their
own; the last thing they need is to be wearing clothing meant for an elementary
school age child when they are in middle or high school. If you are not sure
what is age appropriate, ask a friend or watch some kids TV shows. If you let
them watch with you and comment they may even want to wear it too.
When possible,
take your child shopping with you. I
know for some this can be very difficult.
Wal-Mart and Target are open late and not crowded in the evenings. If your child is sensitive to the lights, try
sunglasses in the store. If they feel
they are involved in the choices, they will be more likely to wear a variety of
clothing. You can also use this as an opportunity to teach shopping
life-skills. If going shopping is not
possible, try online shopping together.
The more actively they are involved the better.
Now that you have
their clothes, do not give up on making them dress themselves. This includes buttons, zippers, and tying
shoes. These are things that every
parent is responsible for teaching. If
you have a child that is having difficulty with these, discuss it with your OT
or doctor. There are many ways to help
including button tools, and trying multiple ways to tie shoes. Do not give up on these important life
skills. It may take longer, but do you
want your 20 year old asking for help in these things if there is any way they
can possibly do it themselves?
The clothing battle is one every parent deals with. When you have a special needs child, the
battle field is littered with mines. Use
care and you can win this battle.
For more information you may want to start here:
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