When to Let Your Special Needs Child Use The Public Restroom Alone

I was reading through some Facebook pages and found an interesting stream of conversation.  People were discussing how to handle taking people with special needs into public restrooms.  I found this very interesting because my students use the public restroom at school.  For some it is their first exposure to using the bathroom on their own. As their Life Skills Teacher, I feel it is important to make them independent enough to be able to use these facilities on their own, but being a woman it is difficult for me to relate to the issues that face the boys. Luckily I have a male Paraprofessional and wonderful relationships with my parents to help me navigate these waters.

    It is very import to go over the procedures and rules of the public restroom just as you would a classroom.  This is a new environment for many.  Give them the vocabulary they will need: stall, urinal, seat cover, sanitary bin. Make sure you go over social expectations.  Do boys talk to each other while they are at the urinals?  Do you look through the cracks in the stall doors and watch other?  Is it appropriate to wait for your friends to finish or should you leave as soon as you are done?  If you pull your pants all the way down to urinate, do you use a urinal or do you use a stall? If you are not sure of these answers discuss it with male co-workers or the child’s parents.  It is also a good thing to take a “field trip” to the restroom, close it off for a few minutes to other students and go over the rules and expectations there.

     If your student’s need supervision at first, use the restroom while the other students are in class and close it to the others for the time you are in there. This will make it less awkward for everyone involved. If it is possible to have two male staff members to supervise in the boy’s restroom, that is best, but if not, use one male to supervise the boys.   I would suggest he stand at the door with it open just a crack to protect him from any one questioning what an adult is doing in the boys restroom. The same goes for the girls with a female teacher. If a boy has not used the urinal before and wants to, ask his father to teach him and have him use the stall until his father has taught him.  As soon as the students are proficient, the teacher should start backing out and giving them independence, just checking in less and less until they are doing it all on their own.

  As parents, you have a much tougher choice.  This is a hard decision even when dealing with a child who does not have a disability.  When do you start letting your child use the public restroom on their own?  I know with my own children, it was a gradual thing.  I first sent them in with a friend or in a small safe environment and stood close where I could monitor.  When you have a special needs child the same process needs to be followed.  Send them in with a friend or buddy at first to see if they can handle it. Be sure to go over the rules and expectations each time before you send them on their way.  You may even want to set a reward if they can do it.  If they cannot, you know they are not ready. Do not give up on giving your child this independence.  Go places at times you know the restrooms may be empty and let them work at it. Wal-Mart is not as busy in the evenings. It will be a learned skill like any other.

    If using a public restroom on their own is not a possibility and you are dealing with a child of the opposite sex, I have a couple suggestions to try.  If you are at a mall, go into one of the stores and ask to use their restroom.  Explain your situation.  You may be surprised. If you must use the opposite sex restroom, lock the door for the few minutes you are in there with your child, or have someone in your party let others know before they walk in to give them the choice of waiting. You can even make and carry a small sign with you if you find this to be a common occurrence in your lifestyle.  Many people may not care, but being given the choice rather than having things thrust on them and knowing you are being sensitive to them will make them more sensitive and accepting of you and your situation.

   Using the public restroom seems like such an easy common place task, but having children with special needs can make it so much more difficult.  Taking the time to pre-teach and practice the skills can help make the transition from dependence to independence easier and more rewarding for all involved. 

Please Follow me on my Facebook page: Special Kids, Special Teachers, Special Hearts

For more information you may want to start here:

I Want to Go to the Public Restroom by Myself

Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism and Related Disorders